It’s the first day of a new year. How are you feeling about that?
There is a sense of calm within me that is not typical for the first day of any given year.
Maybe it’s the fresh coffee and the quiet house. Perhaps it’s the full night of sleep. It could be the meditation time I took for myself before I sat down to write this. I’m guessing it’s a bit of all of these.
But beyond that, and in a far more powerful way, I am calm to the core because I’ve established a whole new way of looking at the New Year.
This past summer, I spent time discovering my Core Desired Feelings and have helped clients do the same. It has centered them in ways they’ve never experienced before and decisions have been made with a sense of purpose and clarity.
There’s no magic potion. No trickery. Certainly no gimmicks.
Just a simple switch in the way they look at goal-setting, getting clear and making big decisions.
By taking your intentions for the year from a list of accomplishments to a list of ways that you want to feel, you turn goal-setting inside out.
It’s disorienting at first because it’s drastically different than anything we’ve been taught before.
When you get clear on how you want to feel, your goals start to look different.
So, I’ll give you an example of how this is different and why it’s so much more effective than the external accomplishment driven ways of our past.
Let’s say you set a resolution to lose 15 lbs this year. Immediately the anxiety kicks in around how you’re going to do that, how often you’ve failed at making that happen in the past, what you need to buy and enroll in and what you can and cannot eat. All of this piles on your shoulders before you even make your first salad of the year.
Nothing about this feels good and nothing about this feels light. It feels heavy and scary and insurmountable.
But, let’s look at it from a feelings perspective. Let’s say you set your intention for the year to feel vibrant, connected and powerful.
The next time a burger and fries presents itself on a menu next to a veggie dish, which of the two options will make you feel vibrant, connected and powerful?
Usually the more health-based option will, but here’s the beauty of following your feelings rather than a to-do list. There will be times when the choice to eat the burger and fries feels connected, powerful and vibrant. That could be your body telling you it needs more protein and a boost in carb intake for the day – so you can eat it and leave the crappy guilt feelings behind.
When you set goals from an accomplishment perspective, there is no room for burgers and when there is no room for fries, you create room for compulsion, obsession and giving up on your intentions because they feel too restrictive.
Next up you start to look at how movement of your body fits into your goals. Most people sign up for a gym and drop a paycheck on supplements. None of this feels vibrant, connected or powerful to you – it feels depleting (of energy and resources), frustrating and overwhelming.
So, getting back to your Core Desired Feelings, you start to reflect on what makes you feel vibrant, connected and powerful. The last time you signed up for a dance class, you felt vibrant. The running group you stopped showing up to made you feel connected. And your evening time on the yoga mat made you feel powerful. So, as time allows, you start to reacquaint yourself with all of these and things start to fall into place.
Over time, feelings-based goal-setting creates a healthier relationship with food, and your body, and by the time you show up to that NYE party in 2019, you may have lost that 15 lbs or more. Or, you may not have – but you’ve done everything for the past 365 days driven by your desire to feel vibrant, connected and powerful, and that 15 lbs is no longer a focal point of your life any more.
Clean, empowering, energizing. When you drive your life by the way you want to feel, rather than what you want to get or do or accomplish, your life settles in a much more holistic, calm and focused manner.
Looking for some support in all of this? You and I can work one-on-one, or you can join my next class and come on an adventure with a group of people on the same journey to feel a sense of calm as their 2018 kicks off.
All my love to you. May 2018 treat you kindly and bring all the feelings you desire to fruition.