I woke up this morning to an incredible sunrise. It was the kind of sunrise I felt inspired to photograph but I knew nothing would do it justice. The kind of sunrise I wish Crayola had the capacity to capture in a box so I could color with it on the rainy days.
As I opened up my curtains, I couldn’t help but grin because it had been about a week since I saw bold, beautiful colors in that way and the lack of color this week matched the feelings I had going on inside.
I don’t know about you, but as a woman and specifically as a woman who worked for many years in the sexual assault advocacy field, the recent months have been soul-deep exhausting.
New headlines everyday about men who are being exposed as sexual predators has been rough, not surprising, but rough nonetheless. I always assumed the moment when this culture around entitlement, power, consent, etc. came crashing to the ground would feel so much better.
It’s been torturous and I have been physically absorbing the ripples of the consequences impacting women all over the world, because for most of us, this kind of behavior is all to familiar.
Last night I went to my monthly book club. We didn’t do much talking about the book, but we did do a ton of processing about the change of tides in our world and it was clear that I was not alone in my weariness and worry for where we will go from here as a society.
It hadn’t been clear to me as to why I couldn’t quite get he gumption up to plan for upcoming workshops and write. I kept blaming it on being busy with planning for family visiting for the holidays. After sharing and listening with community last night, I realized the busy that was going on had more to do with the climate on the inside than the schedule on the outside.
While we didn’t answer the world’s problems last night, we did find solace in collective understanding and I woke up feeling about 15 lbs lighter this morning. The color has come back, and Mother Nature met my feelings with a gorgeous greeting this morning.
I am so grateful to my book group who are undoubtedly some of the most fantastic women Minnesota has to offer, and to the sunrise for the perspective shift.
As a country, we are re-aligning our value system, unfortunately on the shoulders of marginalized people. The process has been brutal. Until we see the shifts start to make positive progress, we owe it to ourselves to find ways to take good care in any way, big or small, that we can.
My self-care shift today was simply recognizing the gift of this sunrise and the priceless benefit of community. It’s not life-altering, but it is an incremental boost to my personal and professional sustainability.
I hope you find your sunrise in the coming days. I don’t think the cultural climate in our world is going to rapidly change anytime soon, so it’s up to us to find our sunrises, inside and out, during the extreme clarifying process that is swirling around us.
If you find you are struggling to feel the colors lately, you know where to find me.
All my love and all the colors of the sunrise to you,