A fascinating trend has come up lately with clients, friends, and acquaintances.
The idea of “giving up” on things has been woven in and out of recent conversations and while decisions are never a one-size-fits-all scenario, there are some common themes I’ve observed.
A few things to consider before you give up on something:
- Does the idea to give up the project, the course, the facade or the expectation make you feel lighter, or heavier? If lighter, giving up is most likely the right thing to do. If heavier, spend some more time with your motivations. You were never meant to feel heavy about things – heavy is a sign that there is more there to explore before you let something go.
- Does giving up on this effort let someone else down? If yes, spend some time getting really clear on the fact that you are responsible for you and this person/these people that you are afraid of letting down are responsible for themselves. You have full permission, simply through being a human being that exists on this planet, to change your mind, let things go, and do things differently. It’s your birthright and your responsibility. Who knows what you might model for someone else, simply by drawing boundaries and taking care of yourself.
- What is the WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME? G’head! get the panic out now, even if imaginary, presumptive and potentially irrational and illogical. When you write it down or speak it out loud to someone you trust (or alone in your kitchen), you’ll be surprised at how insignificant the worst possible outcome actually is. The decision to give up or let go of something becomes clearer this way.
Another thing to consider:
Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It never means you are messed up beyond measure.
What’s messed up is the culture we’ve built in our society that says you have to make everything happen on your own.
What’s totally wrong is the idea that “pulling up your own bootstraps” is the only way to get through tough times.
What’s absolutely incomprehensible is how often this culture removes the need for community, support, and safety from the hard parts of our journey.
It goes completely against everything that we are built from. We are tribal beings. We thrive in community. Separation fractures our perspective of the world, snowballing into deeper isolation.
Asking for help is a profound act of strength.
So go on warrior. Get over yourself.
Don’t be your biggest barrier.
Let go of whatever is bogging you down go.
Give up if it feels lighter to do so.
Don’t give in to the idea that you have to go this all alone.
There are almost 7.6 billion people on the planet for a reason.
Use your incredible and unique brand of bravery to connect with some of them.
Give up what drags you down. Get over what keeps you disconnected from the thread of love available to you through community.
Love and strength to you,
I always want to be as responsible as possible with what I put out into the web world.
When I refer to “giving up” in this post, I am talking about things like:
~ leaving a job that is harmful to you
~ letting go of a friendship that is more hurtful than helpful
~ handing a project that you no longer have passion for to someone who does
~ letting go of unrealistic expectations of yourself and others
~ trying to be something other than what you are
~ anything else that is keeping you from feeling joy and living your best life
I am not referring to giving up on a bigger level.
If you are feeling like harming yourself or having thoughts of suicide, please make a call to your local suicide support hotline or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) , 1-800-799-4TTY (4889)
There are almost 7.6 billion people in the world and a good number of them have dedicated their life to supporting people who are feeling hopeless.
Please connect with them if you need to.